Thursday, June 21, 2007

Hello people, I'm back after a long absence. Having mostly mugged finished, i shall grant myself a break and do a spot of blogging. Recently my life has been confined to the fabled halls of Orchard Library and the cosy corners of coffee bean. And since there's been a request of my mugging schedule I shall give you the quick and easy on how to mug 3 subjects in 8 days: namely start mugging at 11am and stop mugging at 12am. If your sanity isn't gone by then, as i suspect mine is, you can stop worrying about dying for your common test. Over the course of these 84 hours at Orchard and 12 hours in school, many interesting experiences have happened, i shall share a few choice morsels.

Fast Fact #1 : Takashimaya Level 5 toilets suck.

After a hard days work, all i wanted to do was to be able to do my business in peace, and enjoy the momentary respite from physics. This isn't exactly a worthy topic of discussion so i shall keep it short, but suffice to say, just when i was done my phone starting ringing. Being an efficient multi-tasking man (yes, even in the loo) and eager to get back to gravitation, i reached one hand behind to flush the toilet, and the other hand to answer the phone. As most of you should know, i am inherently lazy. I somehow do not see the need to remain standing on the bus, just because 4 of your female classmates insist on standing up while they are seats available.

There is manliness, and then there is stupidity.

So naturally i was seating down at that time when, and i can see no other way to put this, i felt water lapping at my behind. Cursing the crappy flushing system, and thinking it nothing more than a momentary fluctuation in the water dispensing system, I waited for it to stop. It didn't.

You people seating in your comfortable chairs staring at the computer probably have no idea how traumatising an experience that is. Since time immemorial man has depended on its toilets not to break down. Sure computer's will crash, TV's will explode and Windows Movie Maker will destroy your life but the toilet was always a safe haven. No electricity involved, no circuitry or faulty programming. Just your finger, the button and the literal smell of success as H20 washed your troubles away.

Staggering out of my seat, i watched as the water merrily obeyed the laws of physics and happily gurgled down the side of the toilet bowl, though i suppose if your existence was limited to washing away the waste of others you would be happy to be free too. On the other hand, i wasn't exactly beaming with joy at that moment, but rather deliberating how to cross the little pool of water my happy toilet bowl Niagara Falls had created. At that moment, that 1 cm deep puddle of almost (don't ask) pure water seemed more intimidating then a maelstrom. The fact that i was wearing slippers didnt help either.

Convincing myself that it was clean water (sometime it pays to be colour blind), i took a few quick steps and rushed out the door, straight into the angry gaze of people who probably thought i stuffed a baby wombat down the toilet or something. Sigh, my whole life i seem to get myself into situations where people start staring at me. Ultimately though, with the exception of the loss of some NEWater, there were no real casualties, and on a happy note, my legs have become much stronger using the squatting toilet.

Enough with such vile memories, I hope you guys arent eating/ about to eat. Lets proceed to:

Fast Fact #2: Don't buy meatball pasta at Orchard Library

Note that i have nothing against the Cafe at Orchard Library, the drinks are nice, the servers are friendly and the food usually tastes good. Though I say that in the same way people say you normally survive cancer. Once is enough. Thankfully this was not the same day as the toilet saga, or I don't think my already fragile psyche could take it.

Being the ignorant fool that I was, I decided to be adventurous and not go for the "crowd favorite" or "chef's recommendation" for once, and thus bought the meatball spagatthi thingy. When the food finally arrived, i tucked in. If I weren't a free thinker, at that moment I would probably be a) praying to god to keep me alive, and b) giving thanks that I had not bought this for lunch before encountering the rogue toilet.

Although pasta and porridge may both start with p, i highly doubt they are supposed to share the same properties. It did teach me a few new things about the laws of physics though, namely that fusion is possible, judging by the way the spagetti strands seem to melt into one another. Ok, it wasn't that bad, but try and imagine biting into what should be 7 seperate strands of spagetthi and feeling your teeth just meld them into putty. The cook probably blowtorched the pot of water or something. The cream wasn't all that nice as well.

Ok, in case they see this and sue me or something, i shall add a further statement:

The spagetthi was really extremely well done.









As in a steak.

Fast Fact #3: Look before you leap/chiong off in a taxi (7 bucks) to find chem notes you thought you left in school but were actually in your math file

I think the above is quite self explanatory.

Fast Fact #4: I'm an idiot until I ask someone for help

This is just one of life's little understood mysteries. I realise that the above sentence isn't very clear so I'll illustrate with an example:

After pondering over some inexplicable math question for one hour, I call trusted friend, royce-the-brain.

ohcy: "eh you know for question 13 right, how come.......OH! I get it!"

Royce: ".... ok"

A few hours later I call him again.

ohcy: "eh you know for question 15 right...... eh wait, nevermind, i got it."

Royce: "...."

Repeat this scenario several times over and you'll eventually get

ohcy: "eh, do you..."

"click... beep beep beep"

Its as if i need to hear a voice over the phone before the answer flies into my brain. Either that or he explains half a word and i get it. Of course this doesnt happen every single time, or he would have probably really blocked my calls liao, but still it happens often enough to irritate the hell out of me. After all, its my phone bill. Sigh, maybe this is just my brain's way of telling my that 12 hours of social isolation is unhealthy.

Fast Fact #5: The toilet doors in Paragon are really cool

A few days ago I went to the Paragon toilets for the very fast time, and it was there that i witnessed the epitome of human laziness and cool technology. Its like i walked into a star wars spaceship. You push a button, and the door slides open mechanically, and when your walking out, it opens automatically.

Awesome.

Thats either a waste of dollars or really cool. As you may have been able to tell, i go with the latter. It has restored my faith in toilets. Though admittedly i fail to see the benefit of installing that particular contraption in a toilet. Sure its cool and all, but the fact that its installed into a waste disposal facility seems to take some of the oomph out of it. It seems more suited for a sci fi adventure thingy, where the hero dodges laserbeam fire, runs for the door, pushes the button, leaps inside and watches as the doors closes upon his enemy's snarling, spittle flecked face. On the other hand if you did that at the toilets most people will probably just think you're about to pee in your pants.

Hmmm, thats about all for now, i have to prepare for another hard day's mugging tomorrow, though now that i think about it since i pretty much finished everything except for art I'll probably just take it easy a little and do revision questions. goodbye for now, Takashimaya and your crappy toilets.

On a side note i now have my second Winnie the pooh stuffed toy, thanks. Time for celebration.

kk, feeling very sleep now, slept at 3:30 last night trying to take pictures of lightning. I doubt anyone knows this but every major thunderstorm i whip out my camera and try to take pictures of lightning, and naturally either the lighning stops the moment i take out my camera or the flashes only come when im not taking them. Well yesterday if you had your eyes and ears open there was another heavy thunderstorm and determined to beat Murphy's law, I spent close to 2 hours by my window side trying to take a few picture of lightning. Out of probably 500 shots a few managed to capture a bit of it, but one turned out rather spectacularly.

Ah well, might as well post them. For comparison, I'll start off with a picture without any lightning.


The first one i managed to capture:


Finally the super nice one.


That, i feel, was worth staying up 1.5 hours for. funny thing is, that was like my second last shot, i had told myself i would only take 50 more before going to sleep. Take that Murphy. The rest are just slightly brighter skies so Im not going to waste my time uploading them. since i'm a digicam noob, the first two were captured with fireworks mode setting and the last nice one with night mode. Next aim: capture a comet.

tata for now. toodles.

1 Comments:

Blogger ZenX said...

you cant capture a comet!!! it streaks across the sky faster than you can even blink!!!!

lolx

xx

ps...btw, i find your blog rather....amusing ;)

toodles

9:43 AM

 

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