Sunday, May 13, 2007

Hello folks, currently tan huaning now in front of my com while the butterflies in my stomach engage in nuclear war. In the midst of recovering from some imba manly illness that has owned me for the past 4 days. Lets recount the full story shall we.

Thursday

It was 3 am in the morning and being the hardworking guai boy that i am i had just completed my art project and was deciding whether to do some final revision for physics test or go and sleep. Well, in truth i spent a mere 30 minutes on the project and 2 plus hours pummeling the restart button. It was like a ticking time bomb. I would turn on the computer, open up power point, and within 5 minutes the whole thing would just destroy itself. I could have used it for a timer. Just pop a pie into the oven, turn on the com, take the pie out once the motherboard starts smoking...

In any case, my feral impulses and angst finally reached a peak, and i spent the next few minutes dismantling the com and feasting over its innards before switching to my brothers com. Or at least contemplating it. Not that i was afraid of destroying a thousand dollar chunk of hardware, but i am by nature and kind and gentle soul.

Eventually though i got the whole thing done, and decided to just look through my formulas before going to sleep.

And thats when i felt a rumbly in my tummy.

(Unless u had a deprived childhood, you should know where that came from)

what followed next was 2 hours of pure torture as I made the toilet my new home, alternatively stuffing my head down the toilet bowl (i finally know how a certain anorexic in my class feels like after every meal) or having the runs. Eventually i threw in the bowel and went to my parents for help. The medicine they gave didnt helped since it was flushed down the toilet 5 mins after consumption (there are going to be some very high sewer rats) so my father and me walked to the Mount Alvernia hospital for check up and a jab.

Sigh, down one mountain and up another.

The irony occured to me then that i was going to miss the one (or one of the few) tests that i studied for, and the class was probably going to think i ponned school. And that i had to hand in my art group project stuff later that day also. After a few/some/many/countless frantic calls to my art project groupmate, who apparently puts her handphone beneath her pillow (who keeps their handphone under their pillow??? Doesnt that give u brain cancer or something), there was still no reply. Apparently she hadnt woken up yet. She's no princess and the pea, but a pillow aint exactly 40 mattresses nor is a vibrating handphone a........well, a pea.

Ah well, actually i thought she would be awake liao, at least i didnt wake anybody. (You would think that anyone who lives in the distant isolated wastelands would have to wake up by 6 to reach school on time)

After informing people that i would be missing school, i went home to try and sleep. note the word try.

I lay on my bed, and had what i thought was at least an hour plus long lie. I use the word lie and not nap since it was spent tossing, turning, and burping (don't ask). Since i lay down around 8:30, i turned to my side and expected to see the clock at 10:00 at least, but was moderately disappointed to find the hour hand at 9 only.

Until i realised it was the minute hand.

By then i was beyond disappointment. Yup folks, a grand total of 15 minutes had passed in my glorious lie. I know how they say time flies when ur having fun and vice versa, but this was ridiculous. What was i supposed to do, play solitaire? So basically i lay there for what seemed like eternity as my gullet had a violent disagreement with my spleen.

The whole day basically went by the same way, i shall spare myself the pain of recollecting it. Besides some 39.3 degree fever, nothing much else happened.

As i type this, my father is asking me what's the number on my hospital tag to go buy 4D. =.="

Friday

For the majority of that day, I just stoned at home reconnecting with my inner childhood as i watched hi hi puffy ami yumi and other such mentally stimulating shows. Felt tan huan but not as tan huan as day before.

Saturday

I dub this D Day. As in, d day my stomach died. Felt fine after i woke up and was having a drink of milo for breakfast. Just as i took out some math stuff to mug,............................. owned.

So much for the drink of champions... After 2 hours of pain, my parents finally brought me to the hospital (again) It was an interesting experience to say the least. First we waited for like one hour before it was finally my turn to see the doctor. After prodding me here and there and asking a few questions, he decided i should be warded. Next was the first bit of fun i had in 3 days, a wheel chair ride. Although i did not really need it as i could still walk, the nurse insisted, and ah well, might as well enjoy the ride.

Upon reaching the ward, i got on some bed and some nurse started interrogating me.

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your pain?"

????

Imser i can just judge like that. Well seeing as im lying there scrunched up in agony add 2 points? Because im smiling at that =.=" question, minus 5? They should have some scale like:

1)That felt like laodi just punched me
2)That felt like a flea just punched me
3)That tickles
4)Ow.
5)Owwww.
6) OWWWWWW.
7)Sheer excruciating agony
8)Words cant describe the torture
9)I see....the light...
10)I see....daigor's face (oh the agony)

And so on and so forth.

I said: "4? But its constant"

Nurse (raising her eyebrows): "You sure or not? Really feel pain ar...."

=.=""

Actually she was right, i didn't feel pain at all. I just like to come hospitals cause its fun to waste my parents money and lie in a bed for 20 hours straight, not doing anything productive as i feel my muscles (i do have muscles) wasting away from atrophy, while eating food that .... well actually it tastes like our canteen food. (Not that thats saying much)

After that the doctor arrived. he seemed pro enough so i began to relax more, that is, until he began his inspection. He begin prodding my stomach again, while asking me to take a deep breath. So, well, i took a deep breath, with the following reaction:

Doctor: "goood! GOOOD... GOOOOOOODD!!!"

I took another deep breath

Doctor: "goooooooooood!!! GOOOOOOOOOD!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!"

Me: "Imser."

I somehow fail to understand both the amount of praise and the amount of shock in that exclamation. What did he expect me to do, grow fangs and bite his arms off? Or was he expecting me to suddenly stop breathing.

Then again, i can sorta understand the earlier reaction of the nurse just now, its hard to take a patient who's supposed to be in pain seriously when he's laughing in your face.

After that the doctor left and i was subjected to 3 rounds of hospital food, medicine and tv, although the tv was actually quite manly. It had discovery channel and cartoon network, for which i give thanks.

Did some math, did some drawing, watched alot alot of tv. Couldnt really sleep cos of the trouble with bubbles (of air) in the bowels of my bowels, i.e i felt omega tan huan bloated. (i should be a poet)

My family came to visit me later that night, just before they set off for dinner. that was both a blessing and a curse when u consider that daigor is legally considered a member of my family. Lets show a sample sms he sent just after he left: "enjoy the hospital food! yum yum!"

=.=" thanks ar

My mum later informed me he was keeping a log of every sumptuous dish that he had during that dinner so they he could sms me the full course. I supposed he didnt do it cos his consience finally got the better of him, though it seems more likely that a falling meteriote crushed his handphone just as he was about to send it.

Eventually though, i fell asleep. Eventually.

Sunday

Woke up feeling totally better, though if u read the start of this post you'll realise that has been corrected. Booked out, went home and either tan huaned or the sofa or typed this blog entry. I hope u readers understand the mental and physical torture i went through to bring this blogpost to you. Well, just mental actually, what with daigor currently rummaging through the refrigerator for a pile of food and smiling at me every half second as he spouts something along the lines of :"Mmm Mmm MMMMmmmm, the delicious taste of XXX just seeps thorugh my tongue, astounds my throat and satiates my belly! *grin*"

That cunning #$%#%$

Oh, mystery solved. As he has just happily told me, the reason he didnt sms me the menu last night was because he was too busy gorging himself on the piles of mouth watering food that i was unable to eat.

Like i said, that cunning #$%#%$

Sigh i really am some unfit wasted sloth now, maybe ill go outside, lift a few pillows and gain back that bulk. Maybe ill find some handphones under them too XD

Ah well, my stomach is owning me again, I shall blog more another day. tata.

1 Comments:

Blogger eric said...

OMG CHINYANG I LOVE YOUR POSTS ITS DAMMMMMMMMM FUNNY!!! and are you alrite already?

12:51 AM

 

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